Communication the missing link to our human consciousness
Communication is an art, it is the basis of every kind of relationship. Many of us have trouble communicating in a clear concise way or lack the skill of being assertive. One of the things that some people struggle with is communicating their needs to their love ones, because they shy away from conflict and don’t want to trouble or inconvenience others. They constantly let other people’s needs supersede their own and they find it difficult to articulate their personal goals and desires. Instead, they rely on mind-reading, believing their partners should intuitively know what they need without them having to say anything. If their partner isn’t skilled in telepathy, he or she becomes resentful and begins ascribing negative qualities like selfishness to their partner, even though they have never actually given them a fair chance to meet their needs. Relying on mind-reading to get your needs fulfilled creates feelings of chronic anger and contempt towards your partner, conditions which will almost invariably lead to the demise of your relationship. To keep your relationship strong and happy, it’s up to you to make your needs clearly known. You have a right to ask for the things you need in a relationship. In fact, you have a responsibility to yourself and your partner to be clear about your needs. You are the expert on yourself. No one else, not even your partner, can read your mind and know what you need in the way of support. Here are some tips on communicating with your love ones. First of all pick a time when your partner can give you their full attention. Keep your tone as calm as possible, don’t let anger or annoyance creep into your voice. Using an accusatory, or patronizing tone can escalate things into an unproductive argument. Start off the conversation by offering a straightforward description of the situation you want to address and always approach it in a non confrontational way. Be specific as to how “you feel”, this is the key word. always start with I feel. Here is an example, I feel we been fighting a lot more than usual this past month. You would NOT want to start the conversation with “you are bringing this relationship to an end”. Now don’t make the mistake to ask your partner to change as a person because that it’s not your job but theirs alone. What you can do is ask for a “behavior change”, be specific to what that behavior is and how that will help the relationship. If your partner is unwilling to compromise or cooperate with you in any way, you have a choice in how to proceed. You can: Try to put this one refusal in perspective with all the good things your partner offers and bring to the relationship. Is the issue such a big deal in the big picture? If not, you have the responsibility to see and understand the issue with a non bias perspective. Remember communicating needs is not a one-way street. Hopefully this is obvious, but asking someone to meet your needs is not a one way street. Encourage your partner to make his or her needs known as well, and do your best to listen to, understand, and try to meet those needs when you can. In a healthy relationship, both partners are eager to try to do what they can to make the other person happy. It is team work and it requires a constant awareness of your partner. After all we are human beings and our perceptions sometimes are proven to be just a perception. If you find you can’t agree right at the moment, ask if you can re-open the discussion in a week or two, sometimes we gain a different view within a weeks time and things become clear. If an issue is too important to you to simply accept a “No,” and/or if this refusal to meet your needs is a consistent pattern, in which you’re always being walked over and your partner cannot see your basic needs as a human being. and you have brought it to the attention of your partner in a fully open, and mature way. You than need to use compassion, understanding and unconditional love. Always invoke the the light of the divine to shower your relationship with understanding, Just remember “Love start with one’s self” and it is you the only one that truly knows your needs. Always do your best and at the end of the day remember you always have a CHOICE.